Have you ever wanted to ring someone’s neck because you were relying on them to do something for you and at the last minute everything fell apart? One of my daughters has had an ongoing issue with someone in her life that does that to her regularly. The person would offer to babysit her three daughters and then change the length of time she was available, or want to do it at her house instead of my daughter’s house, or just plain back out at the last minute, which of course would upset my daughter and son-in-law’s plans for an escape from the kids. This hasn’t happened once or twice but many times over the last few years. I would get calls from my daughter expressing frustration and disappointment over the situation.
I finally gave her some advice that I want to share with all of you:
Stop expecting people to change! People are who they are and while you may think they will eventually ‘see’ the light and do the right thing, if they have proven multiple times that isn’t the case, it may NEVER be the case! I believe it was Albert Einstein that said the definition of insanity was doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results. Isn’t this the same thing?
We are all individuals, capable of making up our own minds. The vast majority of us know right from wrong, but don’t always make the best decisions. When someone proves them self to be unreliable, stop expecting a lightbulb to turn on for them, suddenly making them realize what they are doing is wrong in your world. With their upbringing, life experience, and habits being different than yours, you shouldn’t expect them to react like you would.
Stop relying on the unreliable and move on to someone who has proven you can count on them. In the end it will get rid of some stress in your life, help you keep your sanity, and maybe allow you to appreciate that person for who they are rather than who you wish they were.
Remember, don’t expect people to change…because often times, change isn’t easy.